A few weeks ago I had a routine check up and the nurse practitioner found a lump. The only good thing was that she told me it had all the characteristics of being a cyst. It was mobile, firm (but not rock hard), and fairly large. She also told me that 80% of lumps are cysts. Next step was getting an ultra sound. She told me that if it is a cyst, it would appear as a large black circle on the ultrasound because liquid shows up as black. I also knew that ultra sound technicians are not allowed to tell you anything, so I felt ahead of the game knowing that black was good.
I was lucky I only had to wait 2 days until the ultra sound, and I cannot tell you how happy I was when I saw a black circle!! It was pitch black, similar to this image (thanks Google).
The technician did come back and tell me it was a cyst. Yeah! I wanted to go out and celebrate, but I still felt a little uneasy knowing that the lump could have been cancer. I didn’t really let myself think that it was cancer. I honestly don’t know what I would have done if it was. I thought that the ultra sound wasn’t going to be 100% clear and because of my medical history they would have required more testing, but in the end it would be a cyst. I am so thankful it was a cyst. Thyroid cancer sucks, but breast is a whole new level. Even though I only had to wait 2 days, it was tough.Like I said before…telling John was one of the worst things I’ve had to do. I know that if the situation was reversed I would have been a lot more worried. I feel guilty that I put him through so much more stress/worry. I should take the brunt of it right? I’m the one with the illness. It doesn’t seem fair.
7 comments:
I am glad you are okay. Hang in there, both of you! Go celebrate and check out some new DDD :)
I'm really glad it's just a cyst!
I would've totally freaked out if they had found a cyst! I think you're fine with the whole worrying thing... but I am so glad that it was nothing major!
I think you did the right thing in laying it on John. That's what husbands are for: to share the good along with the bad.
That was record time getting you in there for the sonogram! I think they must have put you at the head of the line, which was really great!
That's good news! Sorry you had to go through another scare. Its funny though how great a normal day can look when you get good news like that!
Glad to hear that everything is ok. Husbands are supposed to be there thru good and bad, but given the history I can see where you'd be worried about telling him.
LISTEN! I totally get how you would feel guilty, but listen to yourself a few posts forward....YOU CAN'T CHOOSE WHAT TYPE OF CANCER (or any illness for that matter) YOU GET. I can not imagine how much it must suck to have to tell the person you love the most in the world that you could possibly have a cancerous lump in your breast. BUT, that is one of the greatest things about marriage (and John) complete and UNCONDITIONAL love and support. For better or worse, means HE LOVES YOU and I know he does not blame you or want you feeling guilty. Try, try, try no to. You can not deal yourself the cards, you can only deal with the way you handle the cards you are dealt. From all my experience, you and John deal VERY WELL! I love you and I am so sorry either of you had to go through 2 days of more worrying.
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