Sunday, April 22, 2007

The Wii Word

So with the Boo Stick being preoccupied with cancer, what does John do with his free time? Well the search for the new Nintendo Wii has ended. Driving back from Ukiah this last Monday, one of my lady sources finally came through for me.

Wait, back story first. The Nintendo Wii is the latest game system from the greatest video game company. See if these names ring some bells you old fogeys: Mario, Zelda, uhhhhh, Metroid. Crap, it turns out I only play Mario and Zelda. Anywho, the system is fully interactive. I swing in real life, my Mii (clever, I know) swings his little bat on screen. The system is so fat kid friendly that it suggests you take a break and go outside every 15 minutes.

So for my 30th birthday I told Amber I wanted 1 thing; that's right, a Nintendo Wii. They came out in Nov 06. But she soon encountered a problem. Wiis are in super high demand, and as the big day approached she couldn't lay her hands on one. I suggested to put all my lady friends on the job. Maggie spotted some in LA for $400. No good, I am notoriously cheap and they retail for $250. Molly A. was also on the hunt. Rebekkah scoured Walmart on a daily basis. No luck. So two weeks ago I was hanging out in Best Buy when I spotted an old co-worker of mine working the register. I slipped her my card, gave her a wink and a pinch, and was on my merry way.

Thank you Joy Grunklee and your employment at Best Buy. Joy called us on Monday at 3pm. Bad news, we were in Salinas; Good news, they received 15. Amber placed yet another call into the Wii phone tree and Jen got on it. By 3:40pm all Wiis were sold but I was finally one of the lucky ones.

Due to these great advances in technology Nintendo thumb is now a thing of the past. However, I have developed a rather more severe condition, referred to in Medical circles as Nintendo Elbow. Much like tennis elbow, except this nasty affliction can take hold indoors with no sun, ball, racket, or even shoes!!

Results of 4 days of game play:

Bowled a 258 game (real life 172)

Beat down 6 dudes in boxing (real life, yeah right! I'm what you call a lover)

Shot par over 3 holes (real life, don't ask)

Hit 8 home runs out of 10 pitches (real life 1 homer career)

Even my lady can roll now!

True athletes play fake tennis. Look at that form!
Also for those in the know, check the shirt. Triforce anyone? (That's Zelda for you laymen).

It's not planned yet, but all will be invited to Lebowskwii Fest. Bowling, Caucasians, and The Dude. All without rental shoes. Actually, without any shoes, as you know we are crazy about keeping our carpet clean.

p.s. Cancer is a Bitch. And to quote D-Jay, "Beat that Bitch"
p.p.s. Watch Hustle and Flow to understand p.s. reference. "Whoop that trick"
p.p.p.s. Sorry for the profanity.


jenna said...

That's awesome, happy bday! My friend also wanted to get her fiance a wii and finally ended up paying above retail on ebay. Crazy!

Big D said...

Very good writing! The real question is, after all of the practice on the wii, can he ever break 100?

MollWii said...

I didn't recongize you at first. You were boy when you begain this adventure and now you are a man.

Judy said...

Dear Paco,

Just remember to take a break
every 15 minutes.

Way to distract
the babe!

Your Fave Mother-in-law

Maggie said...