Thursday, August 23, 2007

Why Are you Squatting There?

As I drove up to my house yesterday after work in our nice, calm, friendly neighborhood, I looked to my left and see a dog in my yard. It was strange because there was no sign of an owner around. Just as I start to get concerned, I notice the dog starting to squat getting ready to drop a huge deuce! Oh no you don’t doggie! So I laid on the horn and yelled some obscenities out my window. I totally scared the crap out of him, (not literally THANK GOD), and he took off running down the street. I parked and got out and still did not see anyone around…very odd. The dog did not come back so I’m hoping he ran home safety and relieved himself in his OWN yard.

A while back we would often find mysterious piles of dog crap in our front yard. Nothing would make us angrier. I mean who wants to deal with poop? Especially when you have no idea where it came from? My solution was to take our shovel and toss it into the middle of the street. It’s really simple… not my poop = not my responsibility.

We soon started Poop Watch 2006. We would more or less spy, I mean watch, all of our neighbors that would walk their dogs in front of our house, and making sure they picked up any necessary poo. Unfortunately we did not catch one culprit. I really wanted to catch them in the act so I could yell and threaten them, but they were all very courteous. We figured that it must be nighttime dog walkers or someone who just lets their dog out and let’s them wonder the streets.

I just don’t understand how people cannot pick up their dog’s poo; I mean its part of being a dog owner! If they don’t want to deal with the poo they shouldn’t have gotten a dog. (Hence one of the reasons I do not have a dog and highly enjoyed being the owner of dwarf hamsters since their poo is so small.)

Even when John and I go running along the trails in our neighborhood, there are random piles of poop, and they smell SO bad! Just imagine totally gasping for air, (that’s right I’m in awesome shape), and you take in this HUGE breath only to be filled with a rotten poo aroma! AHHHHH! It is so awful.

Just like in Me, Myself and Irene, I would totally seek revenge if I knew what dog was pooping in our yard. Do you remember that scene?

Well maybe I should be a bit subtler and post this sign.

2 comments:

Judy said...

Well, I REALLY like the fake tombstone! Here is what our neighbors across the street did when the new Rottie in the hood was allowed to leave huge mounds on their lawn: they put up two signs by the latest piles: "Please do not poop in my yard. Poop in your own yard!" The dog owner stole one sign AND cleaned up the poop. Have you thought about a surveillance camera?? With night vision?

Judy said...

Oh! Here's another idea: a sprinkler with a motion sensor (if the poop is usually in the same spot).