Ode to mi pelo

As the day of my hair execution is rapidly approaching, I thought I would take a moment to reflect on things you short haired people do not experience. I know that once I get my hair cut I too will not remember what it is like to have long hair, so what better way to remember it then to document it, right?

Let me just say that the last time my hair was this long I was 5 or 6 years old. No joke. My mom finally got tired of having miserable hair fixing sessions with me and whacked it all off. Just so you know, I have a really sensitive head. I wasn't just being a brat. You know my sister never believed me? It wasn't until a few years ago that she met someone else with a real sensitive head that she realized I wasn't lying. Anyway, after the hair cut I was then referred to as a boy for many years, but I'll save that for another entry.

Where was I? Oh right, my current long hair. I'm not sure why it took me 25 years to finally grow my hair out. I actually like it long, and I totally look like Catherine Zeta Jones. Seriously. In fact I look PRETTIER! I bet I could become a movie star with this hair. Seriously. I'm so generous to risk my possible film career to help out some ladies with cancer. Don't worry, I'm already patting myself on the back.

Where was I? Geesh! What is with these tangents today?

Ok…so the following things are things I've noticed since having long hair (past my shoulders):

- Sometimes when I lean against something or sit back in a chair I also lean on my hair which causes me immobility of my head. Total handicap.

- Sometimes when I put my deodorant on my hair likes to think it's cute by sneaking in my armpit and getting stuck like a fly on a flytrap.

- If I wear a short-sleeved shirt I can feel my hair on the upper part of my arm. That took a little bit to get used to. I kept thinking there was a bug on me. Also, if I wear a V-neck shirt I can feel my hair on my chest, which is also weird.

- The last few weeks here have been pretty warm here in SLO, and I've recently noticed how hot my long hair makes me. I've had a little longer than shoulder length hair before, but that is different, then middle of the back length hair. It is definitely easier for air to get under shorter hair than longer. Due to the increased heat on the weekends I wear my hair pulled back throughout Sat. and Sun. What is the point of having long hair if you pull it back the whole time?

- I've also noticed that with longer hair that it can really become a visual obstacle. For example, when I go to the bathroom, sometimes my hair gets in the way and I can't see what is going on, down below. TMI? TOO BAD! These are serious issues when you have long hair!

- One cool thing is that I can see a lot of my hair. I remember having to strain my eyeballs to one side to try to see my hair back in the day. Now I can look down and see it.

I've been trying to prep for The Haircut of '08, so when I look at myself in the mirror I put my hands in front of my hair and try to envision what I will look like with short hair. I haven't found this to be very successful. I mean I get a vision, but it not an attractive one.

The only other time I had really short hair was when I cut it off to get rid of my perm, (in '96), and it had no style. I looked REALLY bad. So with that being the only short hair reference I have, I've become a little paranoid.

I asked John last night if he thought I would look ok with short hair, and he said of course I would. However last night we BOTH had nightmares about my hair cut!

Mine took place tonight…Thursday night. I decided on a whim that I would just cut off my own hair before my actual hair cut. Why not? I had the scissors, what could go wrong? So I whacked it off, and then proceeded to style it with curls. However I cut it so short that I gave myself a total mini Afro!! You know the look. All of our mom's, (or mom's friends), all had the permed Afro in the 80s. I was completely MORTIFIED that I had wrecked my hair, then had to go to work looking like that, and because John was supposed to cut my hair and I totally took that away from him.
In John's dream we were in the hair salon and my hairdresser picked up a some clippers and shaved off my pony tail! John totally freaked out and asked her what she was doing, and she told him not to worry since I would wearing a wig! She then proceeded to give me the Brittney Spears and shaved off the rest of my hair doing a really bad job...leaving chunks of hair at all different lengths.

I could not believe that John had such a bad dream. What is worse is that it gave our hair dresser totally got a bad rep! She is far from the psycho lady that was in the dream, and is by far the best hairdresser I have ever had. Most of the time I just let her do what she wants, and I'm always pleased with what she does.

I'm thinking I will go with a mix of Posh Spice and Jenny McCarthy's dos, but maybe not so linear, and possibly with a few wispy bangs.

Will I be stylin' like a movie star, or will I need to invest in some new hats? Stay tuned!